


Break through the Darkness

by felicia_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean/Cas Secret Santa, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-05 23:52:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicia_angel/pseuds/felicia_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2013 Dean/Cas Secret Santa Exchange, for littlehollyleaf – Dean goes after Castiel’s Grace after the attack by the Rit Zien, hoping to fix his relationship with Cas and, maybe, fix Heaven for once. However, something goes wrong in the battle, and now Dean has Castiel’s Grace, memories, and a new set of problems. With Cas, it’s a race to get back to the Bunker as a group of Angel Hunters, lead by Claire Novak, work to get Dean for their own purpose, and Cas finally admitting all his feelings for Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Swallow Down your Hesitation, What is it that you Wish For?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlehollyleaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlehollyleaf/gifts).



> Chapter Titles from song "Magia" by Kalafina.

_Someday, the light of love that set aflame in your eyes/will transcend time/and surely destroy one dream/of this world that hurries to its ruin_

\-           **Magia** by Kalafina

 

Despite what many of his friends and family might think, Dean didn’t believe that Cas was useless as a human. After all, Cas had managed to keep ahead of angels that were after him years ago, and recently as well. He managed to figure things out how to be human with little to no advice from Dean or Sam. Even after Zeke had held Sam’s health over Dean’s head, had forced Dean into the toughest decision he’d made in years and left Sam at a loss…watching Cas face down his brother, have a sigil ready to banish him and be able to defeat him, all while still being able to care for a small baby…all of that still hurt.

I have to get it back.

It didn’t matter what Kevin had said, or what he said Crowley had said. It didn’t matter what God wrote down. He’d do whatever was needed to get Cas’ Grace back. He had to.

There was one contact that he had, and hopefully they would know something that Kevin, Sam, and a whole bunker-full of esoteric knowledge didn’t. If Dean was right, though...there would be something.

*

Balthazar had, during his stint as a thief and a rogue, been able to trust one person with the location of most of the Heavenly Weapons he’d taken. He trusted Dean because, at the time, he hadn’t trusted Cas. He also trusted Dean because of what he was to Heaven.

“Righteous Men are not a dime a dozen, even in Heaven,” Balthazar had said when he gave Dean the location and explained what was there, “and you knew…right away, didn’t you? When your brother’s little soul wasn’t around, when Cassie started to do all he could to win this war, except rely on others…so I’m trusting this to you. Say a word, and you’re in. Say another, and you’ll never speak the place’s name. Say the last…well, then Heaven’s got to deal without its supplies.”

So on his way back from Idaho to Kansas that Dean stops at one of the places mentioned by Balthazar. He doesn’t take any of his tools with him, or any charms. Just himself, his clothing, and a quick breath, because he needs to do this – he has to find a way to get Cas’ Grace back, to fix all that happened, and to make Heaven better, instead of this self-destructive cycle that lead to the Apocalypse, and the War, and Naomi, and now Metatron.

He needs to fix it, so all they’ll have to worry about are the monsters here, dropping the demons back into Hell, and just…hope for the best. Hope for the best outcome, for at least making everything less chaotic and likely to hurt people.

It wasn’t Anna’s tree by a long-shot, but it had the same look and feel to it. The thing was old, stood proudly in the middle of a field, and just touching it made you feel the age and history there. He slowly reached his hand to the tree, and with a simple touch, spoke the words that Balthazar had pushed into his head.

A knot, near the bottom of the tree, slowly shifted and morphed, the tree opening up to create an opening and steps, leading down into the earth. The smell, different from grave-dirt, was deep and fresh, rich with the smell of nutrients and the similar smell of dark soil. The solid steps lead down the way, roots spreading out to close the way as he descended into the space that Balthazar had hidden his items, and stopping as he headed further down, reaching a dark area with only a faint glow, further in, for him to follow along. There was a bit of the sound of dirt falling and rearranging itself behind him, cutting him off from the rest of the world as he walked into the area.

In the center was a huge pile of various items, the deep tap-root flowing down to a pool of water and dirt that fed the tree. Around him, glowing on various shelves and similar, were small, almost simple-looking items that Dean knew were the stolen Weapons of Heaven. He guessed they had to be simple like this – after all, the Staff of Moses, even when cut, had not been that big. And whatever Balthazar had used to mess up Raphael’s vessel had to be small as well.

Dean moved over to the circle of water and earth, staying just outside the first odd circle of rocks and other items, and puts everything else out of his mind. It’s hard, he’s never been able to really focus like others have, and no one seemed to have the patience to teach him meditative techniques. Not that Dad had been big on the thing, and not like Sam thought Dean could learn it either.

But Dean had no choice in this matter. He had to do this, he had to get Cas’ Grace back, and he had help them all. He had to fix this...so he focused. He thought about Cas, about everything that he was doing. He thought about what happened recently, about how Cas had taken satisfaction in just his simple job, about how worried Cas had been for the child and after the death of his brother, he’d still looked so lost and tried to get Dean to help. How he’d looked both grateful and confused as Dean called in a favor and got him a place to stay, saying it would just require him to work there as well, get him some skills and on his feet. The look when Dean told him he couldn’t stay and wasn’t able to offer up an excuse. The few minutes when Cas was…when that Reaper had…the call from Cas, the admission that Zeke was one of the good guys, the understanding that they couldn’t come to get him.

Finding Cas again, in Purgatory, on Earth. All of it, he found as he focused again and again, finding himself unable to think of anything else, the whole of it spiraling down and down, further and further, until it came to the one point.

It was the type of thing he couldn’t describe, beyond a sort of general idea that didn’t really get the whole description. It was the stuff that got sonnets and ballads and paintings created about, but not something he could describe simply, not without doing some injustice to it. He instead focused on what he remembered, on the bad and the good, on the arrival, on seeing the thing and hearing a name that rang through his being but in a language he couldn’t comprehend. On being pulled in, reluctantly because of his will to stay and continue the evil that Alastair had set him on, but as they got back, as all that had been cleaned away…he had screamed and cried, had reached for the thing he now saw as his savoir, and…and he owed Cas so much, owed him so much more.

The focus wouldn’t let him move away from anything, and he gave it all up. He had no reason not to, and when it was all gone, when every bit of his feelings, of his experience and emotion and his wish, his need to find Cas’ Grace and know this one person was safe, to know that everything was fine…then something appeared in the water, the image of the item and the sudden, focused knowledge of what he had to do.

Dean stood quickly, turning and going to where it was before leaving the room the way he came in. This was going to be dangerous…but if he was quick, if he did exactly as the instructions said, then he’d be able to fix this one thing.

 

 


	2. For the Sake of Someone Else, I Suppose

Cas frowned at the number on the phone and answered anyway, curious as to what was going on. Dean had left a few days ago, and would mean that he should be back at the Bunker. A strange number could mean any number of things, but so far, it normally was a signal that Dean or someone he trusted greatly would need his help.

Since Sam called him irregularly, it might be him, or it could even be Kevin, though he wasn’t certain. Still, it was his time off and he answered it quickly. “Hello?”

“ _Cas!_ ” Kevin’s worried voice came over, _“It’s Kevin, I…listen, Cas, something is going on. I mean…um…bad things._ ”

“Kevin, what’s wrong? Calm down and tell me.”

“ _Ok, so we were going to look into the tablet, right? Dean bailed on us to check on you and your lead, and, um…well, he’s been gone a bit, and then suddenly Sam got all…all…_ ”

“ _Prophet, give me the phone!_ ”

Cas froze, feeling himself stiffen. Because while that sounded like Sam, he knew that wasn’t. He knew Sam well enough, had pulled his body from Hell, and had seen his soul after it had been tortured by Michael and, in some senses, by Lucifer. He’d taken on Sam’s insanity, and he knew the young man. For all he’d once been uninterested in meeting the Boy with the Demon Blood…he’d become a friend to Sam.

That was not Sam.

“What is his name?”

“ _Cas…_ ”

“It is likely he claimed the name Ezekiel. Kevin…I can tell you a way to get his true name…and after that, he will have to tell you the truth.”

Kevin paused before saying, “ _The Bunker is apparently angel-proofed. He didn’t know it. He walked into something and…um…it kinda flamed up or something. He’s stuck in it. He looks…um…pissed._ ”

“I’ll ask more about it later. But we need the truth.”

“ _And lemme guess…Angels lie._ ”

“They have…learned how to, yes. Kevin, please. Do this, so we can get to the bottom of what is going on. If the Angel appeared, or was noticed but such an item, it had to have been drawn to the surface.”

Kevin let out a breath and waited, Cas telling him what to say quietly. The spell is simple enough, but not one that many of them have had to do. After all, so few of them hid their true names from their siblings…but after the Fall, he supposes that could be a reason for such a deception.

Kevin seemed to pick up the Enochian easily, finally saying, “ _Ok…um…after that, then what?_ ”

“Put the phone on speaker. I need to hear it as well, to give you advice.”

Kevin did as he was told, speaking the incantation as the Angel possessing Sam yelled about letting him go, falling silent as Kevin finished and finally, after a pause and what sounded like worried shuffling, said, “Name.”

“ _Gadreel._ ”

Cas sucked in a breath before saying, “I take it…Ezekiel is dead.”

“ _Sadly…many of us died in the fall, and in the days after it. Just as sadly, there is no one who seems to care about that fact, not even those who say they do._ ” A pause, “ _Considering what has happened to you, I saw no reason to remind you of the fact that you cannot do anything about it._ ”

“Then why act as you did?”

“ _Dean asked me to heal Sam. I have been working at it…to make up for what happened._ ”

“ _Wait, what…_ ”

“Gadreel’s past does not concern us right now,” Castiel said, before saying, “We can discuss it later, Kevin, but rest assured…for all he lied about being Ezekiel, I can understand his reasoning. Gadreel…why did you activate the trap?”

“ _I didn’t, but…something happened. It…pulled me closer to Sam Winchester’s conscious, and that activated the trap._ ”

“Then Sam now knows of your presence.”

“ _He is…upset. However, he is also worried because we are not sure what the ‘something’ is, and Dean is not answering his phone._ ”

“ _When did Dean leave you, anyway?_ ” Kevin asked.

“Three days ago, I—“ Cas paused, frowning as he looked to see the Impala in the front, but no sign of Dean. He finally said, “I have to look into something. I will call you right back, when I have an answer.” Hanging up, despite protests, Cas slowly walked out of the store, approaching the Impala with a measured step when he didn’t immediately see any signs of Dean. There was another pause before he got close enough to look into the car without being too close.

Dean was in the back seat, panting and his eyes closed. He looked horrible, as if he’d been in a fight, his nose bleeding but not broken and blood and bruises on his knuckles, and a few forming on his face. Cas guessed, from what little experience he had on seeing Dean after a fight and being unable to heal him quickly, that Dean had won that fight. But that didn’t explain how the car got here, what was going on, and what had happened since Dean left after dropping Cas off from work.

Cas shifted and opened the door slowly, surprised to find it unlocked, and slowly shifted forward a bit. “Dean?”

Dean’s eyes snapped open, glowing a brilliant blue color as he looked up at Cas, as if mesmerized by him. His hand shot out to grab Cas’ wrist, a small tendril of Grace…his Grace…flowing between them before disappearing. Dean looked confused, blinking and then snapping his eyes shut and turning towards the seat.

Dean has my Grace…how…

“Spell.”

“Dean?”

“I…I can’t…why isn’t it going to you? What did that bastard do? W-what…”

“I…Dean, I have to make a phone call. I’ll…I’ll be…” he starts to turn when he sees the man watching him. He’s felt uneasy around him before, but now the man has a gun out, markings on the barrel enough to tell Castiel what he’s seeing and why the man has been looking at him oddly.

The man is an Angel Hunter. His brothers and sisters had cried out when they ran into them, and a few had taken to baiting Angels, only to trap them and then do…whatever they did…to them. The divisions of Angels still fighting or adjusting on Earth was bad, but added in Bartholomew’s indifference to ‘some stupid monkeys’ and their toys, and you had a problem. He hadn’t mentioned it to Dean because he had worried that Dean would know some of the Hunters, and the scars left by the Hunters who turned against Dean and Sam, the fear and paranoia and mistrust of their own community that they also wanted to help, now that the Bunker had been rediscovered, had hurt. It hurt almost as much as when a blond teen came out of the store, looked at him, and her eyes, instead of showing disbelief, or horror, or love, instead only showed disgust and anger.

He felt Dean grab him, and with a sound that he thought he’d never hear again, a flutter of wings, they were gone from the mart’s lot.

*

Kevin and Sam are pacing, though not quite in the same way. Kevin is pacing just outside of the circle, waiting for a call from Castiel, while Sam is pacing and cursing inside of his own brain. He’s already asked Gadreel about everything – the reason for the invasion, the status of his health – and…well, Dean isn’t going to like what happens next.

Sam doesn’t seem to mind. They have one possible way for this to end…not well, but without there being too much dying. In a sense, Sam is fine with it. In other senses, he’s certain this will put pressure on Dean.

Gadreel has offered to help. He told Sam what he could about his…punishment. Sam seems unimpressed by it but, given the circumstances, it’s not surprising that he isn’t passing judgment. If they weren’t in a crisis, Gadreel has no doubt that Castiel wouldn’t be as quick to dismiss who he really is, or even the fact that he’s inhabiting Sam. It had been one of the reasons for forcing Dean to make Castiel leave, before the truth was discovered. Had he known about the defenses that the Men of Letters had set up, he might have waited…but that was all now in the past. He could only wait for the phone call to hear what happened with Dean.

The phone rang once, Kevin jumping on it and answering, turning away from Gadreel to talk before turning back and, with a worried look, putting the phone on speaker for them to hear.

“ _Dean has used a Weapon of Heaven,_ ” Castiel said, “ _He called Metatron to fight for control of the spell that cast Angels from Heaven._ ”

Gadreel blinked. “There’s such a spell?”

“The Tablet said that spell was irreversible,” Kevin said.

Castiel is silent at the news, and Kevin wonders if Dean kept it from him. Considering the walking, massive moose of a problem that Dean’s had for a while, Kevin is beginning to think therapy will only scratch the surface of everything wrong with Dean. Over the phone, Castiel’s voice broke off Kevin’s thoughts, “ _He…apparently found a way, using a weapon. I have yet to learn much of either, save that Balthazar took it from Heaven, and that it was never used before in any way, shape, or form._ ” Gadreel frowned, Sam coming up and his body relaxing, becoming almost shorter as he did before Sam said, “Cas, why wasn’t it used?”

“ _Sam…are you alright?_ ”

“Right now, yes. Cas, why wasn’t it used?”

Kevin glanced at them as there was silence, wondering if Sam hadn’t heard the part where Castiel said he had no idea what the actual weapon was. Over the phone, Cas answered, “ _The Weapon is…more of a focus for the Spell. The Spell required...little, it seems, save Dean’s strength and wiliness to fight. If he did confront Metatron, then it explains his…easy win…_ ”

“And…what does it do?” Kevin asked, apparently confused and curious about the item that had managed to change so much.

“ _I…am uncertain of the details. Dean only said it was instrumental in getting back my Grace and forcing Metatron out of Heaven, but…he is currently holding my Grace._ ”

Gadreel felt himself freeze as Sam suddenly panicked. “What does that mean? The Angel…he’s afraid of what you said, Cas, what does that…is Dean…?”

“ _If we don’t figure out how to remove it…Dean will no longer exist as a Human. He will become an Angel, of the same Rank I was before the Fall._ ”

“Which is…what?” Kevin asked, sounding uncertain.

“ _….I was a Seraph when I met Dean and Sam. After the War, and all I did…” Castiel sounded pained, but finally said, “I was ranked a lesser Archangel…a Principality, when I met you. If the power of the Spell, along with Metatron’s Spell, and whatever the Weapon, adds to turn Dean’s soul into Grace instead…he will be an Archangel._ ”

“So…on a scale, how screwed are we?” Kevin asked.

“ _I believe the words I originally used were ‘Heaven’s most terrifying weapons’, ‘absolute’, and asking Sam about his time under the control of Lucifer will…suffice._ ”

Gadreel, who had control while Sam was panicking, simply looked at Kevin and said, “All he said was true.”

“Oh…so it’s Thursday instead of Tuesday. GREAT.”


	3. If I can Go On Without Losing my Way, I don't Mind if My Heart is Broken to Pieces

The truth is a horrible thing, and even more is seeing the memories that Castiel’s Grace still had. The memories of Perdition, of Hell, and of how Castiel had seen _him…_ Dean knew he’d been on his way to being a demon. He knew his justification for torture, his weakness in giving into Alastair when his father hadn’t, his inherent evil and weakness the only reason that Castiel even took notice.

It’s odd, to see how he slowly begins to wonder about Dean’s role, and finally seeing that Dean isn’t the actual Righteous Man, the hints of him being something else pretty evident. By the time he’s called back to Heaven, though…Dean can see the changes, can see how Cas began to see him as something else, as something besides just the Righteous Man, besides the one that Heaven keeps telling him will be the end to the Apocalypse.

He’s aware that Cas is with him, that Cas is trying to get out of him what it was he’d done, what he’d used to get the Grace that was burning him up, but some part of him, some strange part that screamed and raged and fought, wanted to know more.

Dean woke when it was dark, Cas there, watching over him with a strain on his face and soul that made Dean wish he’d figured things out earlier, that he wasn’t so confused as he was at this moment.

“Dean…I was so worried.”

He had been, and it made Dean blink a little before saying, “sorry…it’s hard…Cas, it’s so hard. I’m losing myself.” He feels Cas’ hand again, resting on his shoulder where that burn-mark had been, and tries to push the Grace towards him. It doesn’t budge, something that makes Dean shiver in fear over what could happen, what _is_ happening. “Cas…Cas, ‘m scared.”

“I know,” Cas said, looking afraid as well, “We…I’ve spoken to Kevin, but we have little time. They can’t reach here…not before…” he swallowed, and Dean can fill in the blanks that Cas isn’t saying, can admit to the truth that he didn’t want to admit to, the truth that he’d tried to fight ever since he stepped out of the ring and allowed the Grace to nearly consume him.

“not before…I become an Angel.”

Castiel is silent, the quiet between them broken by a generic ringtone that Cas glances at before answering, all of him both afraid and resigned to hearing the person on the other end.

Dean knows who it is, even before he hears the voice say, “ _Well? Are you going to say something, or are you just going to ignore me?_ ”

“I doubt I could,” Castiel points out, not moving from Dean’s side, “and I have acknowledged you, Claire. When I gave you that choice, when I told you that I would take you as a Vessel, would save you and your mother from demons, would save your father…all of that acknowledged you.”

“ _You…you bastard. You didn’t do any of that._ ”

“I did.”

“ _I was_ ten _, and all you did was…was tell me that you could save us. You didn’t, though. You ruined it, and you took away my dad!_ ”

“He asked for me to take him.”

“ _Liar!_ ”

“He told me to take him, to not let him die, and when I said, while you were sleeping inside of my Grace, that the next years would be worse, when I told him what he would face…he accepted and had me take him—“

“ _Don’t you dare talk like you did something kind for him! Don’t you_ dare _say you gave either of a choice! You took my Dad away from me, you made mom think he was insane, and then you didn’t raise a finger to help us until the last minute, and you used_ me _to make him take you again! I promised…I said I would make you suffer, and I will! Don’t think I won’t find you, Castiel, and don’t think that you just wearing him…don’t think leaving him will make a difference. I promised that you would suffer and I will make sure you do!_ ”

Dean can see the moment that Castiel has decided it. He knows what Castiel will do, because Castiel’s Grace is holding him here, because the memories of all Castiel did, in the name of a half-formed idea and ideal, in the image of Dean and Sam and humanity, is all in his head.

Because for all that Castiel did, Perdition and Heaven’s bureaucracy, Dean and Sam’s will, and the year spent slowly losing his Grace and being hunted for his questions and doubts when all the others had them…all of that had changed Castiel from the Angel that would test Humanity, to the Angel ready to die for it, ready to die for what Humanity truly meant, and what it could mean for his siblings.

“Cas, don’t,” he tries, but the depths of his soul is set. Ever since he let in the Leviathan, ever since he decimated Heaven, and ever since Dean’s reluctance to return his coat to him, Cas has been ready to die.

And Claire Novak is giving him a way to pay for all his sins. But…but he can’t die _now._

“Cas…please…I…I can’t…” the Grace is flowing around him, hurting and clawing and rearranging him, and when he comes back, knowing it and the thing that he was becoming had told Cas what he used, had shown Cas the Egg and told him the Spell with Claire on the phone, listening, he sees the fear and horror of what will come in Castiel’s eyes.

Dean will never be himself again…because he poured all his destiny into the Orphic Egg.

*

To say an Orphic Egg is a Weapon of Heaven is a bit of a misnomer. What it really is, what it truly does for those who manage to control it, is to pool the possible destiny of a Soul into one small item, and to allow that to shape the world.

Balthazar allowed the Titanic to live, and gave Castiel 50,000 souls for his own use. Dean faced down Metatron, took control of the spell to cast Angels outside of Heaven…and is holding every possible destiny in himself, awaiting Castiel’s command.

It is Dean’s destiny, as the Righteous Man and as Michael’s Vessel, that is holding Dean himself in this reality. It is Castiel’s Grace, swollen with renewed memories and the sum of Castiel’s experiences, which powers the Egg. And it is the Spell’s force, the final word that had sent all his siblings falling out of the sky, that wait for Castiel’s decision to be made.

No matter what the choice, Castiel will never regain his Grace. He is forced into Humanity by Dean’s hopeless attempt to keep Castiel safe, to save him from the demons and angels and monsters that plague this reality. Even if Castiel gets back his Grace, he will once more be a Seraph, once more be the Angel who looks to Humanity with the same curiosity as a passer-by looking at a small rally, or a bug that they feel no particular need to squish at the moment. He will cease to know Dean, and Dean will cease to be important to Heaven. He will have given up the lineage of Michael’s Vessel, will have given up being the Righteous Man. His fate, in Heaven or Hell, will not be marked. He will have no reason for Death to pause when collecting his soul, no reason for either Angels or Demons to mark him. Even with all that he’s done – the death of Azazel, the beginning and end of the Apocalypse, the ending of the Leviathan’s leader…all that will be nothing compared to this.

“Dean…I…you can’t expect me to do this. You can’t trust me with such a thing.”

“I do. I have…and I always will,” Dean’s voice has taken on the quality of the angel Dean is becoming, the Archangel that will rival Michael in a way even Lucifer could not, “even when I knew you looked at me as less than nothing, I knew you would make this choice.”

Castiel somehow knows this is his punishment, his final judgment for so defying Father and the Archangels. But he cannot make this choice, he can’t take Dean away from Sam and the others. He can’t let all this power simply go to fixing Heaven…and he doesn’t want to give up Dean. He doesn’t want to do that. He can’t.

“Cas,” Dean is in charge, panting and shivering, nearly falling over as Cas moves to hold him up, feeling how his friend seemed to simply slump over and fall against him. “I know…I know you won’t…and…and I know you have to. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this…I didn’t…”

“I know,” Castiel told him, holding his friend as he saw the Grace swirling around them. “I know, Dean. I…we have to fix this. I wish…I wish I knew how.”

There was a small bit of silence before Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him into a hug. He had to say it. He couldn’t hold it in, not when, after this, he would lose his friend forever.

“I did see you in Perdition, and wondered at why I was to reclaim such a soul. And when I saw you on Earth, you were so…confused, so angry, so lacking in faith, I couldn’t understand. I had always thought that they would want to be saved, that a human would believe that, no matter what. As I watched over you, as I witnessed you and your life, I began to see what it was that took away that faith. I began to see what it was _I_ was lacking, what Heaven lacked. It’s like the old tale, where you watch shadows for so long that when you leave, when you see what is truly outside of those…telling the truth, telling those still stuck in shadows or darkness or their own world.” He shook his head, instead pulling Dean into a tighter hug. “You are the one who showed me all that I had missed, Dean. And now, you…you’re willing to do this, to do this and end my suffering as well as that of my siblings. You’re willing to give all this up…all that you are…and all I want…all I want is to be with you, Dean. All I’ve wanted since you cared for Jimmy, since you argued with me that you didn’t want a forced-upon Paradise, since you fought all the Angels and looked at me, at my return, with such…hope and love. I have wanted nothing more than to fix what happened, and I want that with you. I will not let you do this alone, Dean.” With a swallow, building up his courage, he put one hand over the remains of his Mark, and gripped Dean’s right hand, the hand holding the Orphic Egg.

“I love you, Dean Winchester. I have loved you since I returned, and I will not fix Heaven or close Hell, if it means I must lose you to do that.”

He felt the Grace and the power of the Egg surge around them, and Dean looked up at him, the light of Grace gone from his eyes as Cas swallowed and continued, “I should have spoken…at any other time. I should have done anything but simply let you suffer and wonder. But I love you, Dean. I love you enough…that if I were to become God again, if I were to do anything again, I would, so long as it meant you were safe, and happy, and with me. So long as you’re with me, Dean, I can do anything. I wish I had realized that, when I fought Raphael, when I made that contract with Crowley…before this. I never wanted you to be hurt because of me, and yet you have been so often. I will right this, if anyone must…and if I must die to do this, then I will.”

The Egg was cracking, and Dean finally swallowed before saying, “I can’t let you die, Cas. I can’t. I’m so sorry…I swore I’d make sure you’re ok. I swore that you’d be safe, that you’d be able to do what was needed…and…and…” Dean shook his head, the words stuck, before he instead moved to kiss the former Angel.

The Egg cracked, and there was silence.


	4. A Wish that will Awaken the Light

When they get to the location of the phone, the house that should be there is blown away. It looks like something touched down there once, and then simply disappeared. Claire is angry at her missed opportunity, angry at having lost the chance for her revenge…

Then she hears how quiet the place is. She looks around, trying to figure it out, and finally sees her father.

She knows it’s him, because Castiel stood differently, because Angels are stiff and unable to really mimic the moves of humanity. They always overexaggerate, or show off something that no human can do, or have eyes that are too old for anyone.

But…but here, standing among the wreakage of an abandoned house, looking at her so sadly, is Daddy. Daddy is here, and…and that…

Claire races over and hugs him, pulling him against her as tightly as she could. “D-dad…dad…”

“Claire-bear,” he whispered, “I don’t have much time.”

No. No, she…she wanted…”No, please, you can’t leave again. Dad, please…”

He gave her a smile, touched their foreheads together, and wiped away her tears. “Listen to me, Claire. I don’t have much time…because I’m gonna be an Angel. I’m going to watch over everyone. Something’s changed, and I was given a choice. I choose to be an Angel…so this will never happen again.”

Clare feels herself stiffen as she sniffs, and he smiles at her, wiping away more of her tears. “There are no more Vessels, no more missing children, no more lost families. The Angels are being called back, and everything is changing. I’m so sorry I can’t stay longer, Claire.” He smiled at her, and she now saw the wings on his back. It was so much like how she’d imagined Angels, how she’d thought they were in her past, that she let out a choked laugh.

“I have one day with you.” He gave her a small smile and held out his hand. “Anywhere for a day.” He watches as she looks over. Nearby, Larry is hugging the life out of a scrawny kid in a Weiner Hut uniform, the hug returned as a similar boy, only without the outfit and looking a bit happy, watches. Tobias is hugging the two he lost, his father and sister, while an odd, androgynous person watches with a look that says they’re contemplating something. She finally looks back, and says simply, “I wanna go home.”

James Novak, new Angel, smiles and nods. “Ok then. Home it is.”

*

Kevin isn’t quite sure what happened. One minute, Sam is standing in the circle, saying he can’t hear ‘anything’, and the next, the fire has died down and Sam gives him this odd, sad smile.

“What’s wrong?” Kevin asked, wanting to scramble for the answers. Instead, Sam shakes his head.

“It’ll be ok, Kevin. You’ll see.”

Kevin didn’t, and it freaked him out. It’s not until he feels the Earth shake that he realizes he’s lost track of Sam, and he runs as fast as he can to where Crowley is stuck.

On the Devil’s trap are ashes. One rests on a chair that had held Crowley, and the other is not very far away. Kevin, even without the Demon Tablet, knows that this meant Sam finished the Trials at last.

Kevin cries. He cries even as someone comes into the room, and even as he feels a hand on his shoulder. He finally turns to look, and blinks as he sees Castiel standing beside him.

“But…but…”

“I need your help.”

*

Dean and Cas sleep the sleep of the dead, which after getting the bare-minimum of ‘yeah, it was the Orphic Egg’, is probably the best that they can hope for. Kevin has been trying to contact Hunters for the past week, and one day, when he goes to read the Tablet…he can’t.

He shakes his head, and after another few tries, and all of the failures, he finds himself slumping in sadness.

“Is it really so bad?” The voice makes him look up. In front of him is a strange man, and the way he talks, he sounds like…like Gadreel.

“How…how did you get back here?”

“I was called back. I was put on trial for what happened to me. I was offered a choice.” He shrugs and looks down at his hands. He looks so odd, as if he has no idea what’s going on.

“What do you mean?”

“I let evil into the Garden. From that, came knowledge. From knowledge came the Men of Letters.” He motions to the Bunker around them. “The Men of Letters, though, had no way to protect itself, and I was asked to watch over them. I am the leader of the Angels who now guard knowledge, and those who seek it for no other reason than to keep people safe.”

Kevin snorts at that. “Sounds like a lot of busy work.”

Gadreel nods before offering a smile. “I have a small garrison. One of them…requested…that you be given peace. That the burden of being the Prophet who reads the Tablets be taken from you.”

Kevin let out a breath. “That’s why I can’t read them?”

“Yes. Though here…they will be safe from both Angels and Demons, and the next Prophet, when the time is required, will be able to see them.”

The answer makes him look down. “Then…then Sam failed?”

“Sam did what he wanted, and what Crowley wanted. The Knight Abaddon is thrown into the Pit, for the End of Days. The high-demons are gone from this world, and must crawl out on their own. All that remains is how it’s been for centuries, before the opening of a Hellsgate. Those are all closed, never to be open. Perdition will have to find a new way to create issues on Earth.”

Kevin blinks. “Wait…there are still Demons here, then.”

Gadreel nodded. “I think my brothers and sisters, in their haste to blame everything on Lucifer, or me, or those who were absent, forgot about the darkness. Lucifer’s creation of a demon only allowed it to be a focus, but they are not humanity. It’s…evolution in a place of darkness. The new order allows evolution of souls into Angels, a fitting counterpart, wouldn’t you say?”

He wonders which of his family has asked for him to finally be simply Kevin, instead of a Prophet or anything beyond that. He wonders about going back to college, about returning to the real world. All that he wanted, all that he said he wanted for when this was over…but…

“The Men of Letters need to start recruiting,” Kevin says finally, “and I need to take care of Dean and Cas.”

*

Dean and Cas wake and are so painfully human it’s almost frightening. At the same time, after nearly a week of mourning his brother’s death, Dean slowly returns to himself. He still is horrible to deal with for a month or two, and Cas can hardly help out, but besides being just…normal, it’s obvious that Dean is still a Hunter.

It’s odd to Kevin to think of a time before they were Dean and Cas, though he supposed that Dean and Sam were quite a bit different. He hears from Hunters and others who want to join the ‘Society of Letters’ (Krissy makes a point of changing the same, and Kevin agrees that it’s outdated to just be ‘Men of Letters’ when a lot of women Hunters are able to kick all sorts of butt). He takes to writing instead, to cataloguing and cross-referencing where things are in the Bunker, what you might need to know to read it, or where certain things are. Dean and Cas go out on Hunts, or to help people or whatever else. It takes two years before Kevin finally asked what, exactly happened.

The answer is, like Dean and Cas, very odd. Dean explains his role in Heaven’s little book of How to Fuck Over People – as the Righteous Man. Cas explains his Grace and the Orphic Egg. Both are uncertain of the details, but the simplest thing is that the two gave up being Special and instead created something from that. But now…now, when one died, so would the other, and that was that.

For all that had happened, for all that Dean was and had been and could be…right now, if he set himself and Cas up somewhere and just retired? They could, and there would be nothing that Heaven or Hell could do.

So for years and years after that, Kevin is waiting for that to happen, and a bit happy and surprised when it never does. He settles down, and the others do, and everything is not as horrible as before…but he had at least hoped for something for those two, besides them just having each other and the inability to ever see their family in this lifetime. 


End file.
